GONE. Miss My Ji-Mui and Qiu :(

Suddenly I miss my sweeties so much :( I got a lot of things as well as my impression in love gonna share with all of you. I feel like I'm totally down now, but no one else I feel that is the right person for me to share to. Last time, I used to think that I'm mature enough to manage my life as well as my love life. BUT now, I feel sucks! I no longer that SiewWen that is mature, I think, as what he always said that I'm silly and not mature at all. The only thing is the same that I cry easily LOL Now I realized, I'm really so silly :( I'm totally lost and don't know what should I do. I think you guys know who the guy I mean. Hint: ex-bf of mine I miss him! FUCK!! How can I do that?! I thought I was already put down all the past. Shit feeling I have now.

I have no idea how many times he has changed his girlfriend after we broke up, even he asked me back to him, but I have no confident at all to accept him anymore. How if his ex's find him back, and he think that he miss them also like missed me before? WTF?! OMG!! I don't know how am I going to trust him anymore, but I just can't control my feeling towards him. as you guys know that what I did for him last time. ( I wonder how brave am I went to a trip with him and all the strangers and wonder AGAIN how the hell I went all the way long to Penang just get the pendant for both of us! ) Recently, we used to text each other, but I don't know whether he loves me too much or just confused between me and her.

He do asked me to choose between him and Marcus. I never think about it and never give him a confirm answer. BUT he straight away think that I choose Marcus. My heart was like damn pain! He just like to judge me by his own suspicion. After that, our conversation will just end up in this fucked up way. What can I do? CRY lor.. Fuck feeling wei~ I really can't stand for it anymore :( I think you all sure like saying that I'm stupid right? since I'm the want who request for end up this relationship first, but the reason hide inside the heart was so hard to express. and I can't show up what my feeling in reality, because all my house-mates know Marcus, also I always together with Marcus. The only way I can release is CRY.

BUT now what he said to me? He got girlfriend again, one more time I feel like I'm going to die soon! Was totally like shit feeling. I have no idea what will going to happen when I back to hometown. I don't want to meet him cause I have no idea what's going to happen and yet that's not I wish to. I miss him and also I want to see him. Feel like I'm now inside the washing machine and keep on turning and turning without any laundry detergent, thats why I'm now very confused and the mind is not clear at all. Suddenly feel like I'm a worse girl ever. Don't you think so, girl~

FYI, I had deleted him and his current girlfriend in Facebook, I know it sounds stupid, but I really can't stand for it anymore. although I still will go view his profile and hurt myself by those wall post he gave to his girlfriend. This is really the first time I will do this to my ex. and I don't know why, is it I'm know him too well or something else. Before he told me he got a girlfriend, I already know it roughly what's going on, by the way he text with me and what he answered me. Guess what? I never said that he is bad and he said : 'don't say till like I'm the one who only did wrong thing'. I don't know why he will said that, but from my point of view, he felt that himself wrong, only he will said those words. Do you guys agree with me?

Right now, I hope nothing already, just feel like wanna to take back the pendant from him. BUT the best part is he don't want to give back to me. He was like totally no need it at all already, why don't he just pity me and give me the pendant back which is I went all the way long to Penang to get it. as I told him, once he choose to move on, don't ever think that can take the memories to go with. It's impossible! The result is only will same as me now. DULL and SUCK FEELING!

I miss you guys so much :(

Elain, find me go shisha..

Elvy, find me go clubbing..

SyeLi, find me go yamcha..

QianRou, find me go many place and take a lot of pictures!

Qiu, fetch me go many many places and eat breakfast LOL

Sorry If You Guys Also Found Me As A Silly, Stupid, Childish and Useless Girl too :(