Honestly speaking, I'm lost! Am I thinking too much? BUT there are no way for me to not thinking about it. I love you and I do care about you, but all these seem like are too much to you. I'm scared and worried ALWAYS that I will annoyed and stressed you up :(
Someone please tell me, what should I do? I lost the ability to differentiate what is right or what is not? I become paranoid. I don't know what is the best way to LOVE you.
What I only know is, that habit of you is not GOOD! I'm afraid and worried that something bad will happen to you, but you look like not even care about yourself also. The feeling even stronger when I knew that you feel the pain in your chest. I had been quiet for some times when you told me that. Doesn't it obvious that what cause you feel it in that way?
I don't like to talk and complaint too much to you, because I can't control my anger every time I think about it. It is because I LOVE YOU so much~ I always expected that it will be the last time I complaint after I told you all, but seriously I don't know why, I just can't control myself of saying all that!..is like seeing the love one going to kill himself yet I do nothing. However, no matter what I said, how many times I repeated the same SHIT, everything that shows in front of my raw eyes are still the same. Some times, I rather die than seeing you like this, at least the incident can show you that you are not only killing yourself when you doing that, but also the one beside you...
I know it is hard to quit it. I know you tried but still I can see that you have been forced for trying so hard! Some times, I still can feel that you are not willing to do so..and it hurts me real LOT! You tried to reduce it but now what I can see is you are stopping to continue work on it anymore. Who on earth willing to see the love one doing such a bad thing?!! That was so not me if I did not stop you when I know that you're actually doing that. At one point, I scared I talked to much and make you feel annoying..
I don't know whether I should leave you or not, because you might feel release and better if I'm not around. Then, you can do whatever you want to do.
Terrified.
Terrified to love but in real I'm just love you so much! Tell me what is in your mind~ You know, I'm always the best listener on earth who is willing to hear from you at anytime!..and you should know that there are only YOU are able to rescue yourself from the hell...
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