Tonight is The NIGHT

Guess what? I will going to club again tonight with all my sweeties.. Although I clearly know that this may affect the relationship between me and him, but still I choose to attend the invitation to CLUB from Elvy and Elain. I don't know what I want now actually, what I only know is, I may refuse them 2 or few times, but not forever. They are all my friends, my truly closest friend ever! How can I refuse them all the time but actually I'm damn fucking free during the day? I feel bad and guilty every time to choose you instead of them. I know you don't like this kind of night activity, I had tried so hard to let you not to compare me with your ex' and the other girls who are irresponsible to themselves. I tried so hard to let you know I'm not the same, I THOUGHT you know me well, I thought that you know I will behave in those places. NOW I know that I'm wrong, what I thought is just the bullshit nonsense! I work hard to maintain the relationship, I don't wanna to hide the real me in front of you! I like to enjoy the time with my friends at wherever places include the CLUB! This is the truth, if you are not going to accept. Then just fuck it! I just don't want to lie you by telling you that I'm not the clubbing girls but the reality is I'm actually yes! BUT I'm really not that cheap to let those unknown guys to do anything to me or I go to them to get something else! I want you to come with me, I hope I can prove all the fact to you. BUT YOU NEVER GIVE ME THE CHANCE!!! What's going on now?!! which I have no idea.....~